Baby Mine

My cousin K., whom I think of as a sister, will have her first child in November with her wonderful husband P. at her side. I'm going to be a Tía!*

I am happily already in the "bragging auntie" mode. I got a taste of this with our friend K.B., who lives here in Wyoming. Her two little ones have primed my mother, sister and I for infants and children, and indeed, we also think of them as part of our family. I am especially enamored of her infant son C., who has the sweetest disposition of any infant I have ever met. Her daughter K., who is nearly two, is a fun little pistol who "taught" me how to properly dye Easter eggs this month. Proper little Georgia O'Keefe, that one!

With the first little one of my immediate family on the way I am fascinated by modes of parenting. I recall my mother being pregnant with my sister when I was two, and her going into labor while over for lunch at my grandmother's trailer in Bellflower, California. My father was temporarily MIA, so as we geared up to take my mother to the hospital I remember proudly touching her knees when she moaned through an early labor contraction. I also remember screaming in indignation when my father did show up and I could only tag along at a later hour. Drat.

My mother used cloth diapers for both my sister and I. I remember her washing the graying squares of cloth and hanging them out to dry in the warm northern California wind. I remember her boiling glass bottles, and boiling peas to mash for my sister's supper or taking a Gerber jar out of the fridge. My mother parented in mostly a "natural" way, part out of personal belief, part out of dire economic necessity. Today she might be referred to as "semi granola."

For my part, I weaned myself off of nursing before I was a year old, refused to drink formula, and gummed through my first solid foods: fried sausage and French vanilla ice cream one morning at my great-grandmother's tidy apartment. I drank cow milk, ate mashed vegetables or finely sliced meats. When my sister came along my mother allowed her to follow the trail my mother and I had blazed. In part, I think my mother was semi-granola because her eldest daughter was precocious and she was tired, so she just let the near-three-year-old handle part of the parental duties. Like my little friend K., I "taught" my mother how to take care of my sister Beth.

It led to a much closer bond between my sister and I. It also meant that her speech was delayed a little because I translated her baby talk and obscure sounds into the English language. Today I feel more than a little sheepish.

Since I myself had infant dreams last night, in which I carried my young son on my hip as we hiked through the mist of a waterfall, I woke up with a bit of sadness and anticipation for the coming years. I am sad that this son was nothing more than a dream, but I look forward to the real sons and daughters and nieces and nephews who come into my life.

For fun, I went to one of those parental sites and took the entertainment quiz for parenting style. What I got was a near copy of how my mother raised my sister and I:

"You lean more toward Attachment Parenting, natural births, homepathic remedies, and living green! You tend to question modern medicine and mainstream parenting. You tend to delay vaccines or use an alternate schedule. You aren't bothered by the fact that people tend to question your parenting style. You feel strongly about the way you're raising your kids. You believe that it's our duty to make the earth a better place for our children by being more eco-friendly. You buy organic foods whenever you can and you use cloth diapers or seriously considered it. You've also considered homeschooling.

When people see you with your baby you're usually wearing her in a sling or wrap. You tell new moms who complain about lack of sleep to try co-sleeping with baby and let them know how much you loved co-sleeping. You believe in breastfeeding and baby led weaning, but to a point. And you'll nurse in public but modesty is important to you.

You aren't afraid to disagree with your Dr about delaying solids or vaccines. You don't like to let your baby cry and cry-it-out methods make you cringe. However, if nothing else is working you are willing to try it once the baby reaches a certain age. You read different books about parenting and take what you feel will work for you and your family. You tend to believe in trusting your instincts when it comes to raising your kids."

Amen, sistahs.


*"aunt" in Spanish